


How to while away the time in confinement

by Hypatia_66



Series: An UNCLE Gazetteer [22]
Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (TV)
Genre: ABC Challenge, Community: section7mfu, Gen, Word Games
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-05-28 23:19:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15060014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hypatia_66/pseuds/Hypatia_66
Summary: LJ ABC Affair II. Cities A-Z. Prompt V.Boredom in captivity needs to be alleviated - what better than a name game





	How to while away the time in confinement

“How many places can you think of that have the names of people we know?”

Illya’s frown darkened the already dark cell. These dumb games might keep their brains active but they were very tedious. Oh, for light and something to read! He sighed and gave the matter some thought.

“Waverly,” he said. “There are dozens of them. And spelled with an extra E, there’s even more. There are lots of Alexanders. Your turn.”

“You’re a mine of useless information,” said Napoleon. “Ilya.”

“What?”

“I mean there’s a place called Ilya.”

“There is?” Illya was surprised – why didn’t he know that?

“I’m surprised you didn’t know. It’s near Minsk, White Russia.”

“Bielarus, you mean. How do you know that?”

Napoleon chuckled. “I was bored one day and looked up your name just to see.” He added more soberly, “It had a big Jewish population before the Nazis invaded.”

They were silent for a while.

“And no doubt you looked up your own name?”

“Yep. There’s one in Indiana, one in North Dakota and one in Ohio.”

“All named after the emperor, I suppose.”

“Ah, now there you’re wrong,” said Napoleon. “The one in North Dakota was named after a realtor.”

“Good grief.”

Napoleon settled himself as comfortably as his bonds would allow. “It’s surprising how many places have people’s names,” he began.

Illya interrupted and said, “No it isn’t. An awful lot of surnames come from place names – and a lot of people have given their names to places – like your eponymous realtor.”

“Well, anyway, there are places called Heather, and Wanda, one called Mark – there’s even an April in… now then, where? …Papua New Guinea, yes. I must remember to tell them when we get back. There are even places called Norman, and Sam, Noel, and Robert, and David, and Leo.”

“Who are they?”

“Just names I found in the index. Must be dull places.”

“Or maybe a lot more interesting than their names. You must have had a really boring day to discover all that.”

“Well, it was. But it was a very good set of atlases. I looked up rude words too.”

“You surprise me,” said Illya. “Did you find any?”

“Loads – everywhere – Australia, the US, Canada, Britain. There are some quite sweet ones in England like Sandy Balls and Scratchy Bottom, but English street names are something else – you’d be amazed how rude some are – all to do with sex, of course,” and he quoted some really quite surprising ones.

“Napoleon your sense of humour is very juvenile.” But there was a quiver in Illya’s voice. It was nice to laugh. They sat quiet for a while. Illya shut his eyes and fell into a light doze. But Napoleon was wide awake. “Have you any idea where we are?”

Illya jumped, startled out of sleep. “Montana. We must still be near Great Falls, that’s all I remember,” he mumbled.

“Think anyone’ll find us?”

“No idea.”

Both dozed now with their arms around each other for warmth. The long night passed in greater or lesser discomfort and when they finally awoke, there was a diminution in the darkness. They could see each other’s faces – Illya’s hair, as always, easy to see.

“I’m hungry,” he said. And as he spoke, they heard sounds outside and a shout to keep back from the door.

The explosion as the lock was blown was deafening in the small cell. Mark Slate came in waving away the smoke and helped them both to their feet. “Remind me to give you extra instruction in explosives,” said Illya, shaking his head to clear the ringing in his ears.

“All right Maestro, I would bow to your greater expertise, but we _are_ in a bit of a hurry,” said Mark. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

“Where _is_ here?” said Napoleon.

“We’re not far from Great Falls. It’s a little town called Vaughn,” Mark replied.

ooo0000ooo


End file.
